Q: Why didn't Ben and J-Lo get married.
Datt Mamon

A:Because she is a ho.

Q: Why do Russian figure skaters wear so much eye shadow?
Irena Slutskya

A: That's an interesting question. It turns out what looks like eye shadow is not eye shadow at all. It is actually due to a combination of three things: vodka, estrogen and Russian eyelids. Combine these with the cool temperatures of the ice rink and suddenly the lids become permanently stained blue. You can tell how much vodka or estrogen these skaters have in their systems by how dark the staining of the eyelids are.

Q: What were the three questions asked at the bridge of death in the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
Nan Small, Umatilla Oregon

A: By the three questions I assume you mean the three variations that the bridgekeeper asked the different men who approached him at the bridge. The bridgekeeper always started the questioning with, "Stop, who approacheth the bridge of death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he'll see." He would then always begin the questioning with the two questions, known to the experts as the introductory questions which were relatively easy to answer: What is your name? and What is your quest?. After the initial questions would come the three questions that I assume that Nan Small was referring to. The first question asked to Sir Robin was "What is your favorite color?" The initial ease of the first question was used to throw the other men to follow Sir Robin off guard. Sir Lancelot boldly came up next, and ended up going to his doom. The question that did Lancelot in was "What is the capitol of Assyria?" Naturally, a medieval man would not know the answer to such a question and he was quickly cast into the gorge of death. The last question was asked to King Arthur himself, which was what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" King Arthur cleverly asked for clarification by saying, "What do you mean, African or European?" The bridgekeeper, not knowing the answer fell to his doom into the gorge of death. As you can see the bridgekeeper's questions often reflect life itself because you can never trust an old man guarding a bridge to ever ask a relevant question.

Q: Why do Russian figure skaters wear so much eye shadow?
Irena Slutskya

A: That's an interesting question. It turns out what looks like eye shadow is not eye shadow at all. It is actually due to a combination of three things: vodka, estrogen and Russian eyelids. Combine these with the cool temperatures of the ice rink and suddenly the lids become permanently stained blue. You can tell how much vodka or estrogen these skaters have in their systems by how dark the staining of the eyelids are.